I am still sitting in bed, using my iPad too lazy to move; I am feeling sorry for myself, every muscle hurts, every bone feels broken, unsure if it's the alpine training session that killed me or if it's those bloody vaccinations killing me that were stabbed into my muscles!
I am wanting to cry and wanting to cry hard, positivity is out of the bloody window along with the wind which is currently blowing at 476.3 miles an hour!
As I was saying in by precious post, it's about mind set, don't let the mind set slip, it's easier said than done. Truth be told, I almost did not compete in this marathon, having suffered traumas (two in quick succession) one of which was to be precise 12.03 minutes passed midnight on New Years/New Years Day and the other on the 3rd and 5th of January. I did not do much training for 2.5 weeks going from 110 miles a week to bearly walking from my bedroom to my bathroom which is not even a mile.
However with my sons face, together with the charities I am raising funds for and my life to get to get back on track, I got up, motivated myself and pushed forward!
I feel like giving up today, but giving up is and has never been my motto, it's a bad/off day, these days happen, after all I am just a human being. I am not super woman, although a lot of friends think I am. One thing about this blog, be it the new super way to media or advertise or share info, it sure does help purge the soul.
Getting everything out is and does make a world of a difference, so for those who think life is an endless black hole, perhaps for the day it is, and it's ok to feel like curling up and avoiding training, but get back up, rest the body, have a piece of chocolate and had a tiny glad of wine, it's ok.
Be alive and feel alive, at the end of the day, I have a home, I have running safe water and sanitation, although my son won't be like the "norm" (but what is the norm?) I have a bright intelligent child who will amount to being his own self one day!
I am fortunate to have a life and to be living it, I always say, feeling emotional is a wonderful gift, it's ok to cry and feeling crying, it's ok to be made or angry, down or in the bleak black hole, or happy, joyed and in love!
Can you imagine life without emotion???? Hell Bells I can't, so on that positive note, and with another friend who has just sponsored me, I will face my doubts together with my black hole & wall and fight through to see the light.
Love and #blisterfree wishes
Jani xxxx
#UltraMarathonVirgin
No comments:
Post a Comment