Wello & Good Morning to you all
I am up, and as I am still recovering and in especially recovering from my pig out on fries, chocolate and dark forest gateau cake, I have decided to skip this mornings training session as part of my well being strategy. "University is rubbing off into my daily life - currently studying Pubic Health Strategies... its working ;)"
I am still very much overjoyed by yesterdays fundraising and the amount my friends have handed over. I am greatly humbled.
A lot of my friends have asked me about fear, "are you not scared running alone" or "are you not scared of what could happen" or "what are you afraid of Janet"........
The more one is exposed to difficult and or traumatic/fearful situations, the more one is equipped in being able to deal with fear; thus it therefore becomes easier in coping, in especially when facing enormous challenges on a frequential basis. JHW
Please don't put yourself into dangerous/fearful positions on purpose, just to gain 'experience'.
Well, as the English Oxford Dictionary so eloquently describes it:
- "an unpleasant emotion
caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm:
- It is important to make
oneself accustomed to pain and danger without fear
- a feeling of anxiety
concerning the outcome of something
- the likelihood of
something unwelcome happening
- I have a terrible fear
of the unexpected happening
- be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous,
painful, or harmful
- Far more people fear
snakes than are likely to find themselves in the presence of their
slippery scales
- feel anxiety on behalf of
- avoid doing something
because one is afraid
- feel anxious/concerned
about, have anxieties about, have qualms about, feel disquiet for, be
solicitous for"
Am I fearful begs the question?: NO is the first answer, however I have 4 (FOUR) anxieties that I carry on my right shoulder, as my left shoulder has rational and logic.
What are my fears:
1) Fear of what is underneath/beneath - As a retired almost semi professional swimmer this comes as a shock to many, its not knowing what is underneath or beneath me that makes my anxiety "surface" - as long as I can see the bottom of the swimming pool or the bottom of a clear blue ocean or as long as my feet can touch the ground I am fine. I have put off swimming the 'channel swim - Dover~Calais' many many times, this is purely down to not being able to see what is beneath me, its not the swim nor the ocean, its simply not knowing what is below my body. #mindovermatter
[Thank the heavens the 'Ocean Floor marathon' is no longer an Ocean] :-)
2) Snakes & Spiders - As a girl born and raised in Africa, where some of the worlds most venomous snakes and spiders can be found - its no bloody wonder, however one would think I would become used to it and therefore become predisposed to letting my fear go, 'O NO' not on this one, again its an anxiety rather than an actual fear, I know that I am bigger and pose more of a threat to the snake or spider however its knowing that 'animals' don't have logic and that they only go on instinct; therefore if they feel threatened by me, then of course they will strike, and its the strike that I fear, as the strike can be very painful or indeed lethal. (which begs the question why the hell am I running across the desert when I am indeed shit scared of snakes ad spiders)........ I want to conquer my fear.. #mindovermatter & #antivenom
3) Fear of Failure - Ummmmmmm, this one, well what can I say, this is probably the most ridiculous fear/anxiety I have, as my right and left shoulder are in constant conflict; as some of you already know, I see a very wonderful and ever so lovely Etonian/Preppy looking 'Analytical Psychoanalytical Pyscho Clinical Therapist' (phew that's a mouthful) once a week. I see him once a week and have seen a therapist once a week since I was 6 and a half years old (that a lot of therapy, I could start my on therapy business I am an expert now- lol) - for ongoing trauma management. So what is it about 'Fear of Failure', well in my humble opinion its the inherent panic/anxiety that I won't pass, or I won't be accepted were I not to finish or not pass, this comes from childhood and is a learnt behaviour. A very lovely and in fact gorgeous man I have come to 'know' - known only as 'Armani Coffee', once said to me, "Janet, you are not the only one, I set myself up for failure all the time", I walked away from this conversation not only mesmerized by his eyes but feeling that I was understood for the first time since forever. Why is it that we set ourselves up for failure, is it because that's what we know and what we live with? or is it the fact we want to fail so as to learn not how to fail the next time??? - Which begs the question of why the hell am I running this crazy and insane desert marathon, could I fail, would I fail...... the answer to these self posed questions is yes, YES, indeed I could fail, and its a very clear possibility that I could perish, the desert is a hard and extremely unforgiving environment and a place where death can happen in a matter of hours, lack of water, a wrong turn, sand storm, my GPS failing, heat stroke, running on my own, bloody spider an or a snake bite, and the most obvious but not mentionable in as many words but the human. I probably and will most definitely NOT win the race, as I am not in it to win or come 1st place, I want to complete it and that's my goal, COMPLETION, so just by altering my words, I have taken away the fear element thus to avoid fear of failure. #mindovermatter
The truth is we all fail at some point in our lives and more than once too, failure is apart of living and without failure, we don't move forward as much. I have failed so many many times its unbelievable, however, I have got up and carried on without even realising..... Was I knocked back and down, hell yes, more times than I can recall, has it stopped me to do anything else.... no, as look I am at it again, running across the bloody desert for heavens sake. As in the one of the most recognised ads in the world #JUSTDOIT, face the fear and do it any way.
4) Fear of Success - This must seem crazy and off the radar........ tis true, sometimes its not the obvious of fears, but the one that is completely the opposite of fear, that becomes a fear all of its own, fear of success is a much of a fear as fear of failure is, its more of a hindrance, as one becomes stuck and in a rut, its connected with emotional turmoil and not feeling worthy and or not deserving and or the ultimate, what happens afterwards.... what happens when I have achieved my goal, what happens when I have achieved successes.... this is a fear of moving forward, as often the dream or the success is the sole motivator in getting through life, and when that goal has been achieved one can seem lost and or then feel that there is nothing else left to do. I have put off running across the desert for 31 years..... 31 bloody years, why did I allow my self to put something off for so so long? I have no one else to blame but for myself, certainly in my latter adult life anyway. Was putting it off a mixture of fear of failure and fear of success? I certainly think its both, fear of not being good enough to win, when my goal was to only complete it, and fear of actually doing it, as then what....? #mindovermatter
Well the truth is I have all these fears or anxieties, and they are all real to me, but I deal with them and address them. Perhaps I am predisposed to coping and or dealing with fear a lot easier, simply because I have had trauma after trauma and have faced fear in the face many times over. I was watching a very interesting documentary about fear and how the brain perceives it, I cant find the link to the documentary however take a peek at this link, it is indeed very true, the more one is predisposed to fear the less fearful one becomes.
We all face failures and we all face fears on a daily basis, this is simply called living, however the human being with all its flaws is indeed a remarkable living breathing machine, its need for inherent survival is amazing, to the point where the most obvious of fears become latent, do you think about being hit by a car when crossing the road, do you think about being hit my lightning when its storming, yes we do however subconsciously, but because we are programmed to face fear in the name of evolution, we use perception and instinct to continue further. So face your fears and do what you have always wanted, we face fear everyday, so if you have lived this far, how about just living that bit much more exciting. Trust your gut, use your senses and perceptions, you will never ever fail.
REMEMBER THE ONLY FEAR IS THE FEAR OF SELF AND THE SELF LIMITATIONS YOU PUT ON SELF, THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER STANDS IN YOUR WAY, IS SELF, SO TELL SELF ITS OK AND IT WILL BE.
Well folks and peoples from around the world,
#mindovermatter .
Have a great day with warm and #blisterfreewishes
Jani
#UltraMarathonVirgin
