I have had a few issues come up with my son, and so priorities take place. The good news is I have arrived safely into Cairo.... today have not been sold for 12 camels however have had a few stalkers/crazies..... clearly not used to a woman with red hair, or a strong woman at that. Vulnerable I might be a ties, but gullible I am not........
I have come to the most notable of notable notions that people fail to listen, fail to read or fail to or want to understand the most basic elements of communication...... which leads blogging about the most basics/essentials of life. In today's world of mass media -technology, Facebook, Twitter, Pin Interest, LinkedIn, Google, phone calls, emails, text messages etc, people still fail to communicate effectively or live in correctly. In my life and I my line of work and or study, #communication is the key to leading a life of quality and not quantity.
Although I use multimedia a lot, especially communicating with friend all of the world - #cheaper, I still prefer the real face to face and the human tough. I am to admit and be really honest here, the modern technology I admire and think the world of is #facetime or #Skype, for as a mother, and being away fro you child, having the ability to speak in real time with your children is wonderful.
It has been a very try week on all account, the last of my training, the last of my preparations, and the agonising delayed and overdue wait for my sons Secondary School Placement. I still cant come to terms with how the world treats people with a disability. It ********* me off. Why are governments so ******** incredulous. Needless to say I have had to remove that from my mind until the 30th of March when I get back into London. As right now I have to focus on the hardest physical challenge my body has to go through. Bloody hell if #Davina #BeyondBreakingPoint can do it, so can I.
The hardest challenge of all is removing this weakness which I carry within, "am I good enough, am I able, am I going to cope, will I manage, what if I fail, what I if I cant do it, what if others see me struggle, what if they think I am shite" - that is the hardest challenge of all, doing the race will be hard, I know I will #hitthewall at least twice (2), but I know I will finish, the issue or weakness I need to get rid of is, letting go of that negative thought process, and focusing on one of the most important tasks on hand, I AM IN COMPETITION WITH NO ONE BUT MYSELF.
And that is the hardest lesson in life, we all walk around comparing and or observing others, we all have weaknesses and we all 'can and can't' do things, however by removing limitations and or obstacles that prevent us from moving forward we will continue to be in the same place.
One year ago or rather 18 months ago, I underwent life saving surgery, I was unable to eat, I was unable to go to the 'powder room' - I was unable to do the normal daily routine, and or to physically cope, however 18 months later several stitches, and painful organs later, and with sheer will, determination, tears, swearing, sweating, humiliation, gruelling training, enough protein to produce methane gas to fuel London, I am sitting in the Novotel Cairo Airport Hotel, typing this blog, with 12 hours to go before I head off into the desert.
Friend and Bloggers around the world are asking me, "how to I feel" to be fair and to be honest, I am scared, anxious, worried, nervous....missing my child to the point of wanting to book the next fight home, however I have waited 40+ years for this to come true, and I am not now giving in or up, just because I am scared and or nervous. I will do what I will do.
I did say the hardest part of training was getting up at 4am or having ice baths, but the truth is - the hardest part of training, was knowing that I was having less time with my son. That is and was the hardest. However with the knowing and the love we have for each other, one day I will look back and show him what I managed to achieve and hopefully with that, inspire him to do something of equally or greater magnitude.
I have to e honest here, I am sitting having a #beer, I don't normally drink and when and if I do, I normally just have a glass of wine or a champers, however the bitterness and coldness of a beer is what I wanted. I have to say it has gone straight through me, the four sips I already have had.
This last week has had its ups and downs - however training went well and I ended off with one 20 mile jog/run and a steam yesterday. Despite crying my eyes out in the steam room, (no one can see you) it was good. Arriving at Heathrow last night I also managed to inspire another stranger to just do what he always wanted to do. I did not sleep much, in fact I did not sleep on the plane at all, I watched to movies, something I don't really have time to do anymore.
I slept for most of the day with resting my legs and mentally going through waves of emotion.
I will do my last blog tomorrow morning and then that's it until the 31st!.
I have to thank Stu at Manic Films, for his excellent service, and discount which has already been applied to my chosen charities. Stu you have enabled me to take a movie of a life time. I cant thank you enough, my GoPro will capture it all.
http://www.maniacfilms.com/rental/
I have to thank #Brainwave and #Water for Kids for all their help and support, and all my suppliers. I have to thank friends, colleagues, acquaintances, strangers and anonymous donors who have opened up the wallets to support me. I will write you all a letter and that's my word. All I can is promise to complete the race in what ever shape or form I am in.
I have to thank the most amazing close friends, Cor aka Frenchy, Kat, Debbie, Karen, Liz, Hayley, Charles, (please forgive me if I cant think of the rest beer going to my head) and a my fellow student colleagues in particular Ola and Vics and Sey and all the others who keep me entertained.
ONE MORE THANKS GOES TO MY SON - BASTIAN, WHO HAS PUT UP WITH MY EARLY MORNINGS, LATE NIGHTS, CRAZY EATING REGIME PATTERNS, TEARS, MOODY SWINGS, THE TIME SPENT DOING PUBLIC RELATIONS, RAISING FUNDS AND THE REST. BASTIAN AS I ALWAYS SAY, I LOVE YOU BEYOND INFINITY AND MORE THAN ETERNITY, YOU HAVE HELPED MONEY REALISE HER DREAM, AND HAVE HELPED CHILDREN JUST LIKE YOU HAVE A BETTER LIFE AS WELL AS OTHER FAMILIES HAVE ACCESS TO CLEAN WATER AND SANITATION. YOU ARE THE REAL HERO.
Its time for me to finish my beer and have a protein bar...... don't fancy any more pasta.
I will leave you all with this, as stated by the great Nelson Mandela:
"Everything seems impossible, until its done"
My next challenge: - the 4 deserts race - http://www.4deserts.com/ - why the hell not????
Signing off for the night so I can go and play with my GoPro Camera and learn how to use it....
One last word - the
TOTAL RAISED SO FAR IS £2579.58
May I take this opportunity to thank everyone - every message, every thought, every word, every txt, every call, every card, every hug, tissue and penny and cent given to me. All I can do is pay you back by paying it forward and running every last mile.
May you all be blessed and if I can go for a dream and at least go for this challenge, so can you.
With #blisterfreewishes
Jani
#UltraMarathonVirgin
Its never too late to donate:
